Ten Ways to tell…. #TuesdayThoughts with Doris (@mamaD8)

Happy Tuesday, peeps, Doris here with what I hope will be a fun post. I may have mentioned before that I never set out to be an erotic author.

Oh no, not me. So, what happened? My characters knew better, that’s what.

Here are ten ways to spot an erotic author…

1.) Your characters never can keep their hands off each other.

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2.) You roll your eyes at purple prose.

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3.) You know every different way there is to say penis, without actually using that word.

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4.) Pussy, cunt, clit… etc. have long since lost the ability to make you blush.

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5.) You can’t help but check out hot bods you encounter… for research purposes of course.

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6.) Your google history is interesting.

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7.) Porn becomes research, even if it’s just what not to do… 😉

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8.) People make this face when they find out what you write.

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9.) You blush when your child’s teacher wants you to come in and talk about being an author.

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10.) You have very sexy dreams!

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Feel free to add your own observations to that list.

That’s all from me today.

Do stay naughty, folks.

D xxx

You write what? #Tuesday Thoughts with Doris @mamaD8)

Hello, lovely peeps, Doris here. I must admit I had no idea what to write about this week, and then hubby was giggling about something, namely a colleague’s reaction as to what I was writing, and I thought to myself, yeah, let’s revisit that topic.

It ties in somewhat nicely with Ravenna’s post on what Erotic Romance really is.  You know, even though I write under my own name, it’s surprising how many folks have no idea what I actually do.

Then again, maybe not. Unless you’re friends with me on Social Media you probably wouldn’t guess that I’m an author. I don’t go around handing out business cards at the school gates, that’s for sure, or any other time for that matter.

But, every once in a while it will come up in conversation.

“Oh, what do you do?”

I usually smile and say, “I write erotic romance.” That results in one or the other reaction but nearly always this face.

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Especially, when I then go on to explain what I mean by that. Always amuses me greatly, I have to say, especially when folks get so embarrassed by the mere mention of sex that they turn red and scurry away like frightened little rabbits.

I kinda feel like saying, “It’s okay, you can’t get pregnant from reading a book, you know.”

*sniggers*

Of course, you get the other reaction too. The wink, wink, oh I know what you’re doing now. No wonder you have nine kids and do your husband and you really do that…

Well, as far as I’m concerned that is almost as rude and nosy as the folks who exclaim about the fact that we do have nine kids and don’t we own a telly etc.

My standard reply to that always is, “Yes, but sex is so much more fun.”

Cue, red faces and they slink away. I once gave that response in the middle of a crowded church hall, after Sunday service.

I ask you. Mind you, that same church also insisted that I stop writing erotic romance and hubby lost his job as Sunday school teacher after he point blank refused to take me in hand and make me stop writing.

I kid you not.

He is still most annoyed about the taking me in hand comment. As it happens he is my Sir and thus in charge in the bedroom at least, but he would never dream of stopping me from doing something that I love to do or to presume to run my life for me.

No, sireee, not our dynamic at all.

Anyhoo, I digress, as usual.

The point is, folks will have all sorts of reactions to your writing, and you need to grow a thick skin early to deal with the fallout. And there will be fallout unless you write under a pen name and keep it completely 100 % secret, and heaven help you when that secret comes out.

Of course, there is also a different kind of fallout, the positive one. I’ve met so many lovely people, both authors, and readers as a direct result of my writing, they, by far, outweigh the odd neigh sayer.

So, be proud, own the fact that you’re writing in the bestselling genre there is, regardless of what subgenre you might be writing in.

You rock, folks!

That’s all from me today.

Do stay naughty,

 

D xxx

 

 

 

 

Let’s talk Labels #Tuesday Thoughts with Doris (@mamaD8)

Happy Tuesday, folks, Doris here with my thoughts on labels.

 

Bunch of labels

Writing labels that is. Those we put on our writing ourselves, those put there by our publishers, distributors, like Amazon and our readers.

I’m sure I shared before that I never envisaged myself as an Erotic Author when I first started on this writing journey. And it very much is a journey. Five years into it, and my writing is still evolving, for the better, I hope.

The day I feel I know it all, the day I feel I’m writing the same stuff over and over… that’s the day I’ll stop writing. I would bore myself rigid, let alone any potential readers, but I digress. Back to those labels.

When I first chose my tagline I came up with this.

Writer of sensual, sassy, sexy romances.

Even though I very quickly veered away from mainstream romance I saw and still see no reason to change that tagline. After all, I am a writer, my stories are sensual, my heroines always sassy, and there’s plenty of sexy going on.

*sniggers*

While Amazon always places my stories into Erotica, I do not consider myself an Erotica writer. I write Erotic romance, the emphasis being on romance, the developing relationship between the main characters, which always ends up in a HEA.

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We could debate the difference between writing Erotic romance and Erotica until the cows come home, but for me, it is this.

In Erotica the emphasis is on the sexual relationship between the characters, and there is no need to have a HEA or even a HFN. Typically, these stories are on the shorter side, a snippet of a couple’s sexual journey, if you like. They can, of course, be longer, and likewise, there’s plenty of shorter stories which are most definitively romance and not just sex.

Not that there is anything at all wrong with writing pure sex. I enjoy a well written Erotica story as much as the next person. Sometimes you don’t want the angst. You just want a quick, wham, bam, thank you ma’am kind of story to get you in the mood, say, or just to chill out at the end of a long day.

Although I would argue that a good writer can achieve that in an Erotic Romance too. That’s certainly my aim when I write. 🙂

However, this post isn’t really about the difference between writing erotica or erotic romance. It is about the labels we use when we describe our writing.

There seems to be a growing trend among authors to call their stories, filthy, the dirtiest yet, pure smut, pure filth, name it what you will, and my eyebrows always raise.

Why, you might ask? Well, for starters sex isn’t dirty. I always feel like responding, “I shall bring my soap,” when I hear of authors referring to their work as dirty.

I’m sure they think of it as a marketing ploy, but it has the opposite effect on me. Maybe, I’m just old-fashioned, hubby/sir and I have been together for 29 years after all, but stating it is your dirtiest book yet makes me not want to read it.

I’ll assume there is little more to it than sex, and I really want more than sex in the stories I read. After all, there are only so many ways one can write about the horizontal shimmy. Personally, I much prefer reading the build up than the act itself. Give me tension, give me passion, emotion that leaps off the page, plot twists that make me gasp, dialogue which makes me laugh, and yes, a good old dirty talking Alpha hero. Yeah, I love those, but don’t let that be all he is.

After all, a dirty talking man in the wrong setting is a sexual harassment case in the making.And before you roll your eyes, and tell me to lighten up and say it’s fantasy, it is. You’re right, of course, it is, but, and there is always a but. I would prefer for the characters I read about to be grounded in reality, in my contemporary stories at least, and certainly when BDSM is involved. However, that is a matter for discussion for another time. 🙂

Suffice to say that stories described as dirty don’t really do it for me. I think, and this is, of course, just my personal opinion on this, that authors labelling their stories as such do the industry no favours.

Romance, let alone of the erotic kind gets enough of a bad press as it is. We don’t really need to add to it, do we now?

Mummy porn, smut, filth, the devils’ work… (yes, my stories have been called that by some *rolls eyes in mild amusement*) those and more are labels forced onto the romance industry on the whole by folks who just don’t get it, and in most cases never picked up a romance novel in their life.

There are enough folks looking down their snooty noses at us, without us authors ourselves giving our work derogatory labels.

So, next time you refer to your latest story, take a step back and think about it.

That’s all from me today, folks. You’ll be pleased to hear I’ve put my soapbox away  for another week.

*smiles*

Do stay naughty, folks.

D xxx

 

 

 

 

Facebook censorship #TuesdayThoughts with Doris (@mamaD8)

Happy Tuesday, peeps, Doris here. As the title says I’m tackling Facebook and its seeming censorship of Erotic Authors.

Harsh words, you bet, but you know it’s there without a doubt. I’ve long since given up trying to boost anything on my Facebook Author page, for instance, because for some reason best known to themselves FB has decided that I am selling sexual services….

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Erm, ooookayyyyy, that’s news to me. As puzzling as that is, I simply shrugged and decided to keep my money. Egg on your face, Facebook, and yes I did try to contest it, but I could try to boost a status saying, “Nice weather, we’re having,” and it would still be rejected in record time.

*sniggers*

So, like I said I don’t bother. I’m also careful to adhere to the rules as I understand them, and things that have landed me in the dreaded Facebook Jail before.

Are you ready?

WARNING: Snark, sarcasm and a hard dose of get a life and smell the roses, Facebook, coming up.

No butt crack on men, in particular, not even the hint of one. (Found that out when one of my sexy men showed half a butt cheek in profile) Oh my goodness, the sheer horror of that.. 😉

No nipples showing on females. They are über dangerous, don’tcha  know, and FB has been known to remove images of breastfeeding mothers for showing too much nipple. I mean how dare these mothers flash their nipples at folks, when they’re feeding their babies, eh? Don’t they know they’re dangerous weapons… which, come to think of it they could be…. of the milk squirting variety. Hussies, I say, the lot of them myself included in that 😉

This is despite their supposed policy on NOT removing breastfeeding pictures.

What else will land you in hot water… let’s see.

Two men kissing….

The slightest hint of peen will get you thrown off. Heck even catching a glimpse/mere shadow of pubic hair can land you on FB’s radar.

Anything overtly sexual, though that seems wide open to interpretation, and therein lies the problem. Add to that FB’s policy of letting anyone report a picture, post for whatever reason, and you can see how us erotic authors can easily get into  trouble.

There are steps you can take to protect yourself. My author page for instance is set to an over 18 audience only, and I share anything slightly raunchy from there. I also take care to crop pictures. This hunk for instance, you may or may not get away with on FB.

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Depending on how daring I feel on the day, I would probably crop him a bit more, to avoid that hint of pubic hair.

This would certainly get you thrown off. 😉 Avert your eyes if a bit of peen offends you.

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Yes, I’m shamelessly indulging in posting hunks, bite me…

*sniggers*

On a serious note, though, those rules  ^^^ are relatively easy to follow, but every once in a while FB does something that makes me scratch my head in wonder.

As you’ll no doubt know, I post teases and flashes on my personal blog every Tuesday and Friday. I’ve been known to crop many a pic to make it FB safe, but I didn’t feel the need to do it for this one.

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Bear in mind that would have come up as thumbnail size only with a link to my blog. Well, you’d have thought I committed mass murder.  FB first started deleting the link every time I tried to post it, then blocked it outright, and if that wasn’t enough, I was required to jump through hoops every time I wanted to post ANYTHING after that.

If you haven’t had the pleasure of being at the receiving end of their security feature of having to click on pictures of waterfalls, tigers, or flowers etc…. well, let me tell, you, you’re missing out, NOT.

Funnily enough after I send a snarky message telling the powers that be to get a life that security feature disappeared in  a puff of smoke. However, I’ve been known to have to do that for days at a time, and it sure get wearing.

Needless to say, FB never came back to me as to why all that kerfuffle happened in the first place. I’m still baffled as to what was so offensive about this picture, other than a woman enjoying herself with… gasp…. TWO men.

And that really is my gripe. Rules are all well and good, and when you sign up to any Social Media you undertake to follow their rules, but how exactly are you supposed to manage that when FB keeps changing the goal posts.

It seems to me it all depends which current prude is in charge of the censor button.

And it does seem like censorship when gay pictures are targeted, for instance, or perfectly acceptable covered couples, breastfeeding mothers or in the case of one of my readers, a political meme…

So, where does that leave all of us using FB? Well, for starters, be aware of the easily offended brigade, and try to stay clear of them, as much as you can. Especially if you’re an erotic author, because, believe me, it tends to make you a target for any nut job out there. Be careful who you friend, and if in any doubt, crop those questionable pics, or use something else.

It sucks, it truly does, as in most cases you wouldn’t see anything more than you would on a beach…. but hey… heaven forbid we embrace our sexual sides on FB. And don’t get me started on the amount of truly sickening stuff on FB which slips by the radar. You know the stuff, porn videos, beastiality, beating of children,  violence and hate speech, all of which FB has policies for, yet, when you report them, somehow they don’t go against community guidelines.

Show a topless man, and good grief… Call the decency police 😉

*shakes head in wonder*

What can we do about it? Well, not a lot. For all its faults I do like FB, and I spend far too much time on there. It’s great for keeping up with your friends near and far, and of course it can be a great promotion tool for us authors.

I just wish they stood by their own freaking guidelines.

*steps off soapbox*

That’s all from me today, you’ll be pleased to hear.

Do stay naughty, folks.

D xxx