Raven’s (short) ramblings on ‘just say no’

Hi all, Raven’s ramblings and Thursday thoughts on prioritising.

And learning how to say no.

You would think that would be easy eh? Two letters joined together to make a very important word. N-o. NO. No. Not even not a scooby, not on your Nellie, or no chance. Just no.

Rejection. Serious mature woman in formalwear saying no to you while stretching out a paper

There are twenty four hours in a day. It might sound a lot. Some times it really, really isn’t.

Contrary to what some believe, or achieve, we should spend around a quarter to a third of those asleep. Then there’s all those other things that somehow come under the heading of *insert you name* jobs to do. Be it full time employment outwith the home, children, the housework, cooking, gardening, or yeah the dreaded ironing. Whatever. All things to be done within those twenty four hours of a day. Plus if you have a significant other, spending time with each other so you actually remember what he/she/they look like.

Along with this, we write.We squeeze it in. Write when and where we can. Even if writing is your full time job, and your only responsibility is yourself, you still need to eat. to wear clean clothes, upset the dust bunnies on occasion, and heaven help it, and whisper it quietly, take a day off.

To get all this done, you prioritise.

Not always in the same way. One day it could be the doctors or the dentist, or the dreaded supermarket shop. Another, writing 5k and sitting in your pj’s. Whatever you deem is most important at that time.

On those days, you’ll have to be firm, and learn to say no to other ‘suggestions’.

It’s a fact that as writers we can be selfish. Writing can consume us. Anything to do with it, and we are jumpy, twitchy people until it is sorted, be it an arsy hero who won’t do as you want, or edits to be back days before you get them sort of thing. And if you are anything like me, you feel you should drop everything (except your knickers, there’s no time for hanky panky) and do whatever it is, and sod ironing, hubby, dinner or whatever.

You have to learn to say no. No, I can’t sort my arsy hero, those edits, your m/s immediately. I have to prioritise. Tonight, I promised child #3 we would go swimming. I am not going to renege. I haven’t seen my S.O. for a week they have been away. Tonight is our time. Today I am meeting a friend, we haven’t seen each other for six months. Or whatever. I will do what ever else is needed in order of importance.

It’s not easy. Believe me it isn’t. But deep down, if you know what is the right thing to do, then do it.

Prioritise, and just say no. It gets easier the more you say it.

Politely. Explain why you can’t do whatever it is. An extra school run, shift at work, beta read in two hours, or yeah the edits.


And on that note, as I spent last evening chatting to my Dh, whom I see little enough of as it is and ignoring the need to be back by Thursday edits, which I got in the early hours of yesterday I’m off to make coffee and attend to the edits.

They are my priority for today.

The ‘no can do’ note is on the ironing, the vacuum cleaner and the ring the plumber/joiner/man in the moon for me note.

Not today. Today i’m going to ‘just say no’.

(Except, not to coffee. I never say no to coffee. Or chocolate. Or wine. But they are necessities really. The first two to get through the prioritising, the later to celebrate it.)

Happy reading, writing, and prioritising,

love Raven x

(all images, source pinterest)


5 thoughts on “Raven’s (short) ramblings on ‘just say no’

  1. I feel one of the issues with the world today are all the people who feel they can’t say no, who have to do everything, who need to be in charge, who have to make sure things don’t fall through the cracks, and then they can’t figure out why they are miserable and have a dark, angry cloud hanging over them.

    Liked by 1 person

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