The Raven rambles on it is your gift use it…(or ignore those who tut tut at your beautifully explicit sex scenes) blogpost…

Hi Raven rambling again on *looks around furtively* hot sex… This is in part a follow on from Doris’ post on what we write, and a hark back to a post I did on friends who aren’t friends, and a bit of my ‘now I think about it’ thoughts…

Grey mannequin with big red question mark

Confused? Don’t worry I’m often in that state myself.

You’ll have heard us all say ad nauseam that we can only write what we can. That some will like it ,some hate it and some sit on the fence and not care overmuch either way,

All fine and dandy. You can’t please some all of the people some of the time let alone all of the people all of the time.

Erotic writing is one of those things that tends to evoke strong opinions.

Why? After all… ssh…if our parents hadn’t had sex, we wouldn’t exist and the human race would have died out long ago.

And strange though it my seen, not all of that sex was bog standard man on top, missionary position either. In fact I remember very clearly that when I was in my twenties one of the things a woman was told to do to aid conception was to make sure she kept her legs in the air to aid the little wrigglers to get further inside her. I kid you not. And to foil the sperm the woman should sit on the guy so they had to fight to flow upward. Sounds crazy now, but it was the sixties. Of course the pill was almost around, but not quite, and the other fail-safe method was one still mentioned today. Just don’t do it. Or if you wanted to conceive go at it like rabbits.


And now I’ve done my usual digressing.

What I was leading to is that sex however it is described, achieved enjoyed or not, is a part of out lives.

So when we write about it, we write it as we feel our work needs. This might be purple prose, or closed door. It could be semi explicit or very explicit. We describe as our muses dictates.

Now it’s a sad fact that this makes some people uncomfortable. Okay, well there is a really easy answer to that.

Do. Not. Read. It.

It is as simple as that. It’s not forced on you,  and it doesn’t mean we necessarily do everything we describe. Hell I still haven’t managed to make love on a beach at midnight, ledt the curtains open and the lights on while we make out on the sofa, or forced a lift to stop cos I was at it with my bum on the buttons, but I have a heroine who did. (lucky bugger)

fashion studio photo of impassioned beautiful couple. sexy woman with blond hair and handsome brunette man

If I say how much my heroine likes a good spanking, or a gag, don’t think I do. But not liking something personally, doesn’t mean I shouldn’t describe it, as long as I know what I’m talking about. Our heroines may often have some of our traits but not always and not necessarily. Personally do not even think of spanking me, so not my scene, I know that! Lots of my heroines love it, but so not my scene.

Sadly this doesn’t register with some people and they equate our stories as us. Hmm have you seen me shifting into a wolf and running through the forest? No I thought not. Do I say how Hubby and I had it off on the patio, with people rating our performance? No. Exactly.

But because we might on occasion describe hot, explicit sex some people see this as a threat to them and their lives. Why I have no idea. As I mentioned in a previous post, I lost a friend, someone who was as near as a sister as I had at the time, because she couldn’t be friends with someone who wrote as I did. It went against her beliefs. Okay.

My belief is, that if you’ve been given a gift it behoves you to use it. To ignore it is cheating yourself.

The upshot of this ramble, dear people is that if you have it, use it, and ignore those who say you shouldn’t.

Life is too short not to do your very best, whatever it is.

Happy writing,

love Raven x


PD all these fab pics are from Pinterest or this blogspot 🙂

8 thoughts on “The Raven rambles on it is your gift use it…(or ignore those who tut tut at your beautifully explicit sex scenes) blogpost…

  1. I’m truly sorry that you lost a friend over what you write. I have very religious friends who have high morals that know I write erotica, who have READ my erotica and then asked for more. They understand that it isn’t my life (hell, I protest so much that my life is boring, no one believes me anymore), that the heroine (if there is one) isn’t me. One is my best friend and we’ve been in cahoots with each other for so long we’re happily stuck together. The other is a coworker who became a friend and while we have very different outlooks on what God does or does not do, we still read each others’ writing. Yes, she writes the occasional sermon and she has a religious-based blog. And, to be completely honest, more often than not, she’s the one who instigates the naughty talk! Which just gets me into trouble.

    As far as I’m concerned, this person who walked away from you was not a true friend. I do believe that you will find a true friend to take their place and you’ll wonder where this person was all your life. Keep writing.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Whoa…not sure what I’d say to a so-called “friend” if one turned on me. Honestly, most of my friends now are writers, with a few exceptions. But this brings up the bigger question of who to trust with what you write and using a pen name to protect a writer. But you bring up a good point that if you do that, then maybe that’s just lying to yourself? And it’s one thing for another person to be ingenuine to me, but I need to be genuine to myself. So much to think about. Thanks!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m sorry you lost a friend over this. Friends should accept you for who you are and support you in what ever you do. I’m sure, for example, if you killed someone, Doris would be right there with a shovel. I’d be lookout for you. 😃😉 Maybe not the best example, but it’s the point.

    I get aggravated when I see reviews that are poor because of content. “Men spanking women is barbaric!” “I would never let a man tell me what to do!” Well…ok, why did you bother picking up the book in the first place you idiot? The warning says Spankig, BDSM…ECT. Like you said Do. Not. Read. It.

    Liked by 1 person

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