The Friends Game #TuesdayThoughts from Doris (@mamaD8)

Hello lovely peeps, Doris here. Today’s thoughts are on the subject of Social Media, namely the collection of friends and likes on FB, followers on Twitter.

I say collection on purpose, because we all know folks that do just that, right? Accept anyone and everything, and send out friends request galore.


As an author we are told the more likes you have, followers etc, the higher your marketing reach, the more folks will buy your book….. and…

But will they, really? Is there much to be gained by joining FB Page like parties, doing giveaways for likes/followers, and saying yes to every Tom, Dick, or Harry who sends you a friend request?

Having been in this game for a while now, and having fallen into that particular trap in the early days of my career, I’m going to put a big emphatic NO to that one.

1000 followers aren’t worth diddly squat if they only pressed that like button to enter your giveaway. 100, 50, heck 10 committed readers, who follow and interact with you because they like your books, now they really do make a difference. Readers, who like your books, will follow you as a matter of course. They will tell their friends about you, re tweet your stuff, and jump up and down with you in glee when you have a new book out.

Those are the friends you want to have, and you’re not going to get them by chasing that elusive high following on whatever platform you’re using.

However, all of that will not happen overnight. It takes times, it takes commitment, it takes you, ya know, just being you. Be approachable, be you, and don’t make your social media all about your books. That’s boring, and folks will stop listening to you.

I was on FB a long time before I became a published Author, so my personal profile is very much me. I post funny things the kids did, pictures, anecdotes of my daily life, the odd rant. I celebrate and I weep with my friends on there, and they do the same with me. And yes, I also share my blog posts, and talk about my books, if it is appropriate to do so. More on that below.

That’s why it’s called Social Media, after all. You interact.

Happy Friendship Day background or concept.

Things are slightly different with my Author Page. I very rarely post personal stuff on there. Instead you get Man Candy, saucy excerpts, and book stuff galore. My Author page is set to an 18+ Audience, and I share everything book related from there. Including the links that eventually end up on my personal profile. It’s a simple, yet effective safe guard to ensure no minors see stuff they shouldn’t and it keeps me off the FB police radar.

I always shake my head when I hear of authors getting banned for xyz. Sometimes, it is just FB being an arse, and some easily offended sort reporting you for something, but quite often it’s not. So be savvy, protect yourself, and that does include not accepting any request that you get.

Especially when you write erotic romance/erotica. It seems to make you an automatic target for any nutjob out there. From the bible bashing brigade, who tell you, you will rot in hell, to those praying for your eternal soul, or trying to get you to stop writing what you do.

From men who think they can try it on, because, hey you write hot stuff, so clearly you must be gagging for it, to, the myriad of US military generals who just have to be your friend.

Yeah, sure. Delete, delete, delete, and block if you need to.

Being an author does not obligate you to accept every friend request you get. Sure, you want to be accessible to your readers, but ya know they can simply follow you, and they will.

Always err on the side of caution and if you’re at all unsure, delete that request.

You can normally tell who is a reader, and who not. Typically readers will try to get in touch with you, not send a friend request out of the blue. You might have ‘met’ them at a FB party, or such like. You get the picture.

The odd times I’ve ignored that little voice in my head, guess what happened. I ended up with some nut job, and usually a dick pick, or  spam on my wall.

*rolls eyes*

A word on twitter here, as well. You’re under no obligation to auto follow anyone, despite what you might have been told. I don’t, and there is a handy block facility on there too. Use it, if you have to.

Above all have fun out there, and be you. Social media get a lot of bad press, but it can also be amazing. Use it to your advantage and treasure your true friends and readers, rather than collect them.

And one last thing, don’t ever pay for likes, follows etc. That’s just tacky and counter productive.

That’s all from me today

Do stay naughty, folks,

D xxx

12 thoughts on “The Friends Game #TuesdayThoughts from Doris (@mamaD8)

  1. Love this post, Doris! It’s so true. I would rather have the few readers that I talk to daily, the ones that leave reviews and will tell you honestly what they do and don’t like about your books. Those are the ones that I love 🙂 ❤

    Liked by 2 people

  2. YES! EXACTLY! I’m very picky about who I friend on Facebook because I’ve been burned too many times by trolls and those who like to stir up trouble. And as for Twitter, I never auto follow. Well said!! ❤

    Liked by 2 people

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