Raven’s Ramblings and Thursday thoughts…This is me, get over it…

Hi All Raven here again,with my Thursday thoughts…

This is a difficult post to share, because it is very dear to me.

You can’t make people like what you write


By people read friends and family. Specifically, close friends and family.

Now as most of you know, I honestly do not think I write that hot a tale. A bit risqué, a bit kinky maybe, but hopefully humorous, honest, warm and loving.

But I do use ‘words’. Words I do not speak and would not be best pleased to hear my children using in front of me. I do delve into my characters psyche and try to discover why they tick. Words like ‘c**t’ and ‘f**k’ for instance. (I’ve not even written them out in full so as not to offend anyone.)

And heaven help us, I use things I’ve done as well as things I’ve imagined or asked people who do whatever it is. I want to make my stories as realistic as possible. Well okay a shape-shifting leopard might be a bit far fetched to some of you but… how do you know it cant happen?

So this is where things can get sticky. As I’ve said before I lost a very close friend because of what I write She asked me to write other stuff instead and when I said ‘sorry, this is my voice,’ that was it. Bye-bye almost twenty years of friendship, gone just like that.


It hurt, boy did it hurt. But I pulled up my big girl panties and got over it. I had two choices. This is my life, my voice, my vocation if you want to go that far. I can’t change… I do not WANT to change me. And really, no one says anybody has to read it…

And we now get to the hardest part. Family. My hubby is supportive but everything ends in ‘but…’ I think it’s him in overprotective mode, Sir is looking after his sub sort of thing, but sometimes…

Yeah you get the drift.

My children don’t say much. Romance reading is not their thing. That’s fine. I don’t like deep dark horror stories or sci-fi. Each to their own.

We can’t make everyone like what we do. But as hubby said to me one day. ‘You (ie me) enjoy it, get it as correct as you can, are good at what you do (thank you, love, where’s the ‘but’) and people buy it and enjoy it. That is what matters.’ As he also said to me one day, he likes liver, I hate it, I love pears, he doesn’t. But we love each other and accept we can agree to differ.

That’s what matters.

And if someone can’t do that, then it’s up to us to build a bridge and get over it.

create worlds

So for any of you who do like my books, A Domme called Pet was released yesterday by Evernight Publishing.


Happy reading,

Love R x




19 thoughts on “Raven’s Ramblings and Thursday thoughts…This is me, get over it…

  1. Raven McAllan, I bloody love you – you were there when my first book came out. You said most of the above to me when I went through the “why would anyone even want to read that let alone write it’ tirade from people I thought were friends.
    And, as you well know, I write sci-fi but can’t do historical romance…

    Liked by 2 people

  2. ((((HUGS))) Raven. Be true to who you are and know that you are very, very well loved. I utterly adore your voice and I never want to lose you. A meme I’ve seen before has said – In a world of Kardashian’s, be a Lucy – and that’s so true. So be a Raven. Be you!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Great post. My dad never read anything I wrote, as he said he didn’t agree with my choice of subjects, and that was always a source of pain for me. However, at his funeral, I cannot count the number of people who came up to me and told me how often he bragged about my writing. I can’t express how comforting that was to me. Stay true and stay proud, that’s my sentiment!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. (((((Raven))))), we all love you, and as I’ve said many times, that ‘friend’ was not a friend at all. I, too, lost friends, and let’s not forget the hoo haa that forced Hubby to gve up his volunteering as a Sunday school teacher, and meant we left a church we’d called home for years..


    Some folks have a giant stick up their behinds, or as hubby puts it. “They’re clearly not getting any, if they get their knickers into such a twist about erotic writers.”


    Liked by 1 person

  5. Right there with you. (Only I do use the F word in my real life, too.) I tried to write a book without BDSM once–but darned if they didn’t take it there anyway. If that’s who they are (and I seem to attract them like crazy), then that’s going to be in the story. They come to us to tell their stories for a reason–because we’ll get it right. Just keep doing what you’re doing. You’ll find new friends. I’ve pretty much reinvented myself and shucked off all the naysayers in my life who don’t get it. (Well, except for my hubby–but after 34 years, we’re kinda stuck with each other. LOL) And I’m a happier person for it. Now, back to ROAR now that I’ve finally figured out what kind of submissive he needs to heal his hurts.


    Liked by 1 person

  6. Be who you were born to be. No one else can do it but you because you were chosen to walk that path and only you were given the tools to get where you are today. It’s not easy, and people suck, but keep on doing what you do so well. If those around you can’t accept that than they were never truly meant to be on the journey with you. Yes it blows, but it’s best to clear the way for those new friendships yet to come that will further enrich your life.

    Damn if that didn’t sound enlightened, eh? LOL! We love you, Raven. Never doubt it 🙂


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s