Actually, maybe that should say… take a deep breath… people we barely know, who we once nodded to, when an acquaintance of theirs spoke to an acquaintance of ours and we happened to be there.
People you haven’t seen in years, aren’t even sure of their name… Thelma… Selma…Hellva… you know what I mean. The latter should have been their name. With cheek added on to it. Say it out loud. You’ll get the drift.
It was muttered by someone who actually didn’t want to waste their breath or their oh so valuable time on you, and you were amused at the time
Now it’s a different matter.
Take a deep breath, yours not theirs, and carry on being amused. This time at their bare-faced cheek.
They’re the people who rush up to you in queue in the post office or the bank. Invade your space and say ohhh X or Y says you’re an author and you’re published. Do you have any books to give away? You must have and I’d love one autographed for my bookshelf.
Hmm. If you say, oh I’ only write eBooks’ they may look disappointed, do the oh you’re not a real author thing then and then go, ‘oh well I’ll have one of those then’. Or they might go straight to ‘well can I have one please’.Or well you must have some cheap. They’re not pirates, not yet. And I’m not going to talk about those scavengers, Ravenna is on Monday, and you best make a note of that date in your diary. She’s talking…and I mean t a l k i n g.. about it.
I’m taking about the ohh a legal freebie lot.
No mention of how much, would you like a review or even add a thank you.
Now you need to say sorry nicely. Do not cuss and swear. You may, if you want, imagine them at the hands of a particularly sadistic Dom.
Smile. Apologise and say sorry, I only get X amount and they have to go to professional reviewers. Add if you’re feeling nice, check my publisher’s web site for sale days. If they have really pissed you off don’t bother. It’s unlikely they’re going to buy one anyway.
And walk away feeing amused.
This my friend means you are an author.
Happy writing and reading (legally)
love R x