Slow down and smell the daisies.
It is allowed. Not that you’d think so sometimes.
What do I mean?
When I first started to write and got accepted, it consumed me. Every waking moment I was plotting, typing and rereading what I’d written. Who ever or whatever was around me. My life was writing. To my shame, to the extent I ignored everyone and everything else.
Until my daughter and husband told me bluntly they thought the only way they could get my notice was by email.
Husband said he regretted ever buying my MacBook Air as I thought more of it than him.
It wasn’t true but it made me take a long hard look at myself.
I wasn’t that sure I liked what I saw to be honest.
I was boring and driven. I had no life and no conversation other than my books.
It had to stop.
It wasn’t easy. It’s like an addiction. You can create things, write stories that people read and enjoy. Have a publisher asking for more.
But was it worth the end of my marriage? The alienation of my children?
No it was not.
First thing was a promise not to write when Hubby was home, unless it was an emergency. Or if he was watching something on TV I couldn’t block out (I’m no TV addict) I would go into the other room. With the proviso he asked if I minded him watching whatever it was.
I usually don’t. As long as I can duck out.
It’s a steep learning curve, I tell you. We both had to make compromises. I often get up at silly o’clock to write. I growl if Hubby is at home when he normally isn’t and comes into the study during the day and puts the TV on. Er no, or if you must I’m not stopping. Monday to Friday I write in my study on and off between 8 and 5. I say on and off because sadly I still have to do all those boring everyday things like cooking and cleaning. Even though I’m no domestic goddess.
I sound like a real bitch. I’m not, just honest.
And in the interest of honesty, as hubby is away a lot, on those days and weeks I write at all hours and only do the housewife bit at the last minute.
Works for me. It might not for someone else.
I think I’ve got my work-life balance right now.
And on that note I better do some of the housewife stuff. I’ve managed the words.
Love R x